A brief alternate history of Microsoft's OS.

5 times Windows sucked

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Microsoft spent a small fortune promoting Windows 95—including licensing the Rolling Stones song Start Me Up. But the moment Gates started dancing at the launch event, the OS was about as rock and roll as pleated chinos. 

1995 – Windows 95 tries to make computers 'cool'

Clippit, later renamed Clippy, slithered into our reality as a feature in Office 97. A so-called 'office assistant', Clippy would rudely butt in with suggestions about how to use the program. Mercifully, he was canned in 2001. 

1998 – Clippy arrives in our dimension 

This poorly received, widely mocked follow-up to Windows XP drew so much ire, the negative reaction has its own Wikipedia page. Vista was slammed for its lethargic performance and increased memory requirements for games. 

2007 – Everyone hates Windows Vista

There was nothing like the sinking feeling of starting up a new game and seeing that cursed Games For Windows Live UI pop up. The system was created to act as a shared ecosystem between PC and Xbox, but the laggy execution was awful. 

2007 – The GFWL nightmare begins

With its blocks designed for touchscreen and frivolous 'live tiles', it's no wonder people hated Metro UI. The Windows 8 feature lead to the removal of the Start button—a decision so loathed, MS was forced to bring it back in an update. 

2012 – Windows 8 kills the Start button

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